My Valentine Gift
This past Valentine’s day was unsurpassed. I was allowed to try and book a covid-19 vaccine appointment on-line on the city and the state-run sites. It would be the best Valentine’s gift ever (and for me that is special because my middle name is Valentine- yes, it’s true). I even began to imagine being able to travel again, maybe going back to see my friends in glorious and gorgeous Italy, one day soon. I got up extra early and offered for my dogter, Dea, to sleep in but she was up with me ready to play. At 8 A.M., the site officially opened to those who have comorbidities, and I was at the ready, my first needed cup of coffee in hand.
I went on one site after the other and they all said “no appointments available. Please try later.” Oh no, despair so early, I thought. Then I found a site that took me to the Javits Center in NYC for available appointments. I was in luck or so I thought. I went to the appropriate site but it hadn’t been updated at 8 AM or even at 8:30 to include my group (comorbidity) so I couldn’t even attempt to try. I paced all over my apartment, upset at the system. I saw there was a phone number and tried that. I was on hold for a long time before a representative said, “sorry we can’t help you with the Javits Center appointments. Let me see if there are any appointments at the public hospitals.” I waited with baited breath. “Sorry, there are no appointments available,” she said.
Back to the site for The Javits Center and voila, my group with comorbidities was finally added. I tried about 35 times in the next hour, refreshing the system over and over and answering the basic questions time after time. It always said,” system too busy, try again later.” Read more
I sometimes wonder what the point is of dating during the pandemic. Sure, there are many reasons to try because in lockdown or even now, in NYC so many of us feel isolated at times and eager to connect with others. However, if I am being honest with myself, this “new normal” during the pandemic isn’t much worse than the “old normal” dating days of on- line dating pre- covid-19 where hoping for a good relationship and wanting to trust that the person is authentic, is always paramount. So that has not changed even though our world has.
From an article by Alison on ThriveGlobal.com
My amazing dog, Dea had an appointment yesterday morning. SHE got an appointment at her “doggie hairdresser” or groomers. Wow is she lucky even though she pretends it is a day of doom and gloom. But this time, during the covid-19 pandemic, it was like she was a secret agent being passed into a safe house. When we arrived at the store for her appointment, as Dea and I were waiting outside, I called the store to tell them we were there and then a hand wearing a glove suddenly appeared as it stretched itself outside the door to take Dea’s leash from me. The door closed and Dea was safely ensconced inside. It happened so quickly that Dea didn’t have time to react as she usually does with her sudden worrying behavior, that she knows pulls at all my mommy heart strings every time, to get her out of there- that is until the second I leave. From that moment on, her body posture and tail raise up and she begins to play with the handler. What a little actress she is. (They tell me that every time I come to pick her up when she is finished). 
No, not a real fever where one is very sick, especially now, but rather a dancing disco fever. I was a disco queen in my late teens and early twenties and I am not embarrassed to admit it. Dancing made me happy and I would go into another world and dance away most of the night. Over the years so many of my boy- friends made fun of me for my love of disco music. But, who is laughing now? I live in NYC as we are all in the midst of the covid-19 pandemic and I am so thankful that I kept many of my 70’s disco dancing albums, especially Saturday Night Fever where one can dance to almost all the music on the album by the Bee Gee’s, Tavares, The Tramps singing Disco Inferno and really let loose with Ralph McDonald’s Calypso Breakdown. 
As I was going out today to buy fish at a local market on the Upper West Side in Manhattan, of course donning a mask and gloves, due to the corona virus, there was already a line outside stretching half way around the block, as we distanced ourselves six feet from one another.
Living alone may not be as difficult for me as it is for some others but honestly of late it has been a challenge. The reason I have been able to adjust to living alone after my marriage ended and over other periods of my life goes back to my childhood. When I was six years old my parents divorced and my older brother and sister went to live with my father. It was just me and my mother until she remarried my step-father. There was an existential loneliness and neediness present in my life throughout my childhood, and while my mother was physically present, I was probably needier as a six-year-old child. This was because I felt as if I had lost my entire family, requiring more emotionally than my mother was able to give.